Mantra Modifier Gifts

'I hate school shopping! I hate school shopping! I hate. . . School shopping probably won't kill me. . . school shopping probably won't kill me.'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'Keep repeating to yourself: I am a high flyer, I will not dive for the salmon.'

'The position carries no health benefits but we do give you a mantra which you can recite daily to promote good health.'

"If he didn't live each day like it was his last, he would have lived another 40 years."

Enlightened Cursing

Pigs - Live Laugh Lard

'That's it agreed then - the company's new motto is going to be 'We didn't do anything illegal'.'

"Psst! I got mantras. You need a mantra? Mantras right here..."

Today is the first day of the rest of your nine lives.

"You know me. Never criticize,always optimize. The eternal Ms. Masking Tape."

"Is something bothering you?"

"No Wilson, I don't want to hear your daily mantra."

'I can't believe they're using my mantra to sell beer.'

' ... Ohm ... Ohm ... Ohm ...'

"When you've finished your affirmations, dear, don't forget to put your trousers on."

Chicken Affirmations

'Can I use your mantra today? - I forgot mine.'

Dial-A-Prayer and Dial-A-Mantra

'She will not call on me, she will not call on me, she. . .'

"I'm healthy. It's the wealthy and wise part that's been a challenge."

"Like the boy scouts, Preacher; always prepared."

Buy Low and Sell High Gurus

'I used to take life one day at a time. Now I take it one crisis at a time.'

Shape up

'Mismatched Mantras'

"N-n-n-n-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m."

'Just in case I forget it, I keep my mantra on my Ipod.'

'That mantra you gave me is politically incorrect!'

The Teenage Mantra: You don't understand...

"Oom..."

"Clarence thinks he's hot stuff now that he got the portable DR tricked out."

"That's my new mantra. . . 'woulda coulda shoulda'?"

Why Me? - Why Not?

Ed's ongoing spiritual journey of self-discovery has led him to yet another stint in prison.