Mantra Master Gifts

'The position carries no health benefits but we do give you a mantra which you can recite daily to promote good health.'

Chicken Affirmations

'Om mani padme hum, om mani padme hum... How hard is THAT?'

"I told you to write your mantra down somewhere."

Ed's ongoing spiritual journey of self-discovery has led him to yet another stint in prison.

"Okay, I've centred myself. Now what?"

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

Surfing the daily stress

Fight or Flight

"Try thinking about something else."

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

Meditation

"Showoff"

Need an elevated state of mind too!

Behind the Scenes of Your Wednesday Night Yoga Class

"Serenity's cool and all, but when do we get to bliss?"

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

"After the judicial system, I'm my own harshest critic."

Man and brain

"... and this is Carol’s stupid meditation room."

Tree Pose To Support

"I have a feeling this is gonna be one tough course."

'Keep repeating to yourself: I am a high flyer, I will not dive for the salmon.'

Anger Management: Breathe in and Breathe out.

"If he didn't live each day like it was his last, he would have lived another 40 years."

"Yes, it's sort of a yearning disability."

Enlightened Cursing

As soon as I've extinguished my ego, I'm going to take some "me" time.

What're you doing today, Darlene? Power relaxing. 9 to 10:15 I'm reading the paper. 10:20 to 11:30 I'm getting my nails done while reading Catch 22 for my books club. 11:45 to 1, I'm eating lunch, catching up on calls, paying bills then kicking back on the couch from 1 to 1:15. The afternoon is sheer bliss. Yoga from 2-3, Pilates from 3-4, massage from 4-5, meditation 5-6. Now move. Please now! You're interfering with my relaxing. How the type-A spend their Sundays. 10:02, bathroom break. Everyo

'I warned him about thinking the unthinkable!'