Mane Maven Gifts

'I decided not to wear it in a pony tail.'

'Leonard was pleased with his bouffant mane from The Precious Roar.'

I know, I know, you told me not to get a convertible!

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

Muscles

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

"Was that my pager or yours?"

"Like that?"

'Gesundheit.'

Ski lift mobile

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

Nature Lovers

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

"This is off our first TikTok."

"Arthur, I need my space."

See? Whenever he's mad at me, he turns off his Touch ID sensor.

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

'I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid that's inappropriate.'

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."

'I'm sorry, he likes to let off wind after dinner.'

'I'm putting you on a diet: No more fat knights, maidens only...'

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

". . . and wipe your feet before you go inside."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'