Motivation Maven Gifts

Pat on the back machine

110% Job Performance.

"I wrote another five hundred words. Can I have another cookie?"

Time Out For Teddy

"When life gives you lemons, make a lemon-rind shiv."

"We all make mistakes. That's why pencils have erasers!"

'As a staff motivation strategy George, I was hoping for something a little more sophisticated.'

'In the New NASA, we accentuate the positive!'

Oh, great incentive, a mug with our log on the side!

"Once again, I had to resort to the carrot-and-stick approach."

"Look at that! I knew you could do it!"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Jack of all trades

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

Apples for sale

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"#Win!"

Drool Marks

Creative department

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

Ice skater

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"One of the most compelling graphic presentations I've ever seen!"

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

Direct Marketing...

"I don't have to be a team player, Crawford. I'm the team owner."

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"