Marketing Maven Gifts

"It doesn't matter what you like - according to the demographics, this is the car for you."

"Could we talk Girl Scout cookies?"

"Your body language says you've lost interest."

Bacteria Special Offer

'It's so new we don't know what it does, but nobody else has it so we're selling the hell out of it.'

'The sales team did all they could, so I'd have to say the blame for that must fall on the consumer.'

Good start. Needs more gibberish.

"It's too easy to lose a business card. A rubber stamp, you'll remember."

"Now, that's product placement!"

"Come in, Timpson. I'd love to hear your opinions of the new marketing strategy - so long as they don't clash with mine."

The competition's customer vs our customer.

"Advertise! Advertise! That's always been your answer for everything."

"Well, for this amount we could do you a nice word-of-mouth campaign!"

"The improvement is the higher price."

'We've all done our part, but now our fate rests in the hands of a higher power: Marketing.'

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

'I like to think our false and deceptive advertising is falser and more deceptive than anyone else's false and deceptive advertising.'

Creating a powerful personal brand for social networking success.

'I dunno. Maybe we need a new slogan.'

"You did it again, BJ. Yet another stirring demonstration of brand marketing!"

'It has everything... I love it!'

'Okay, so we went over the top with it, but our PR team said it would generate a lot of buzz.'

"'Whites whiter, colors vivid and bright'. Is this laundry detergent of cataract surgery?"

Lard Lite - Marketing

'I want a campaign that will fool some of the people some of the time and all of the people all the time.'

The pharmaceutical industry

"We have to develop a new way to build our customer base. Antispam software has put a dent in our marketing strategy."

'Wow! I've got one from someone I know!'

'Do you know the definition of marketing.'-'Ready, fire, aim.'

"Our marketing expansion seems a little haphazard."

"Until we get reaction to the campaign, I want you to pretend it's your idea."

"The company believes in personal branding."

'Throw in a few bells and whistles and this baby will sell.'

'We haven't had a client in weeks - maybe we should make a promotional video.'

Creative department