Meeting Mavens Gifts

'All those opposed, signify by using the usual sign.'

"Gotta go. My ten o'clock is here."

"All in favor of toupees, say aye."

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

"I'm glad I found the time to join this meeting, otherwise we wouldn't see each other in years!"

'Surely they're not ALL still in their offices!'

'I believe all the donuts are fulled with custard. Are there any other questions?'

"I've called this meeting to discuss the high level of absenteeism within this company!"

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"One of the most compelling graphic presentations I've ever seen!"

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

"A Bill of Rights? - Don't you TRUST me?"

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

'I'm 60-40 in favor of the 60.'

'Frankly, I'm not sure this whole idea-sharing thing is working.'

We Made a Fortune! 'That's good enough for me. I don't really need the specifics...'

'...your hindsight on this project was far more accurate than his foresight.'

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

"Our long-term plan is like our short-term plan, only longer."

Gym. Check in Here. The only time I feel the burn is when I pay the memberbship fee.

I'm not sure they understood what I was getting at. Yeah, they all looked confused, didn't they?

'This is why we can't have nice things... '

'Even in the mundane tasks, aim for perfection!'

"All those who want the doughnuts with jam in the middle please raise your hand."

'First of all I'm sorry. Secondly I'd like to clarify what I meant by 'never apologize, never explain'.'

The Cattle show Week.

There's a popular new health spa down there. The endorphins are having a blast in aerobics. Antibodies are learning kickboxing and the adrenaline is getting some much needed relaxation in the yoga studio. The only problem is the water molecules. Everybody is concerned about them! What's wrong? They haven't been seen since they went into the sauna!

'I know, we'll lead off the presentation with me telling an incredibly long and seemingly pointless anecdote about the time I burned my finger while lighting the back yard grill...'

'First, I want to apologize for calling this meeting on such short notice.'