Message Decoder Gifts

"You got my text... but did you get my subtext?"

"Hey, got your message. Just wanted to let you know you spelled 'desperately' wrong."

"This is my voice mail."

Text/Subtext Message

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

'Boy, am I tired. I was up all night reading the refrigerator.'

'It's from the bloke on the other island. It reads; Help. I'm stranded on a desert island.'

'I'll be right with you after I've checked my messages, dear...'

Signage

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

Barks in code.

What Guys Say and What They Mean,

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

DIY horror.

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

Information vs. confusion

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

"The are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't."

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

A Welcome mat words mixed up at the Dyslexic Clinic

'It's this one here, that I don't understand.'

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

'The first commandment is: Thou shalt not shoot the messenger.'

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

'I'll be right with you. I need to check my messages.'

Russian Missiles Incognito

Never choose a vacation spot by its posters.

Marooned Optometrist

"This way, the humans get the message."

"I would be bilingual if you were bilingual!"

Man reads subliminal message during eye test.

"If we could decipher their language we'd have a clue to their intelligence levels."

'have you ever taken a good look at your paycheck stub? There's one area for what we get and ten different areas for what somebody else gets.'