Hidden Message Decoder Gifts

Note: The picture above is printed in invisible ink. To be seen, it must be lightly sprayed for nine seconds with a mixture of lime juice, potassium monchloride and Rica Cola."

Russian Missiles Incognito

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

Barks in code.

What Guys Say and What They Mean,

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

DIY horror.

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

Information vs. confusion

"The deadline for compliance just kicked in."

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

"The are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't."

'I'll be right with you after I've checked my messages, dear...'

"Let me guess: Step two, add sand."

A Welcome mat words mixed up at the Dyslexic Clinic

'It's this one here, that I don't understand.'

"Leave the lights burning when you go home. Pass it on."

"You got my text... but did you get my subtext?"

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

"Hey, got your message. Just wanted to let you know you spelled 'desperately' wrong."

"It says to sign, and then print my name... can I use the school printer?"

"This is my voice mail."

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

Never choose a vacation spot by its posters.

Marooned Optometrist

'It's from the bloke on the other island. It reads; Help. I'm stranded on a desert island.'

"This way, the humans get the message."

Text/Subtext Message

Man reads subliminal message during eye test.

"If we could decipher their language we'd have a clue to their intelligence levels."

'Connect insert A, B, and C into slots D, E, and F. Tighten using assembly tool G. What in the H are they talking about?'