Letter Decoder Gifts

Marooned Optometrist

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

Barks in code.

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

Infographics: the early years.

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

'Physical or Social Science?'

'I sense this may not be a one-way journey.'

Information vs. confusion

"This is amazing! Roughly translated, it says 'King Tut was here o.k.'"

"Yes, human DNA is very close to ours, but obviously, they're missing the nucleotide necessary for caring for the environment. . ."

'He's one of those genetically-altered antibodies.'

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

IKEA Book

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

'Yes, it is a carrot. You haven't been getting enough fibre.'

"The are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't."

'I'll be right with you after I've checked my messages, dear...'

DNA explained.

"People are always whining about food labelling, but there's NOTHING that ANYONE with a reasonable chemistry degree and maybe a PhD in pharmacology wouldn't with a little effort, be able to understand....At least a little."

Office of Lyrics You Can't Understand

"I sure do have a family. There's my wife's DNA and my kid's DNA."

Gin-etic Engineering

'On the paupiettes de boeuf a la hongroise, which part is the hongroise?'

'It's this one here, that I don't understand.'

'...we were able to hide some rather significant losses.'

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

"You got my text... but did you get my subtext?"

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

'Is this a Greek restaurant?'

"Hey, got your message. Just wanted to let you know you spelled 'desperately' wrong."