Letter Decipherer Gifts

'One letter at a time.'

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

Infographics: the early years.

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

Don't forget to read the small print.

IKEA Book

'...just robbing peter to pay paul...what's up with you?'

"Let me guess: Step two, add sand."

'Right there is where he departs from the script.'

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

'...we were able to hide some rather significant losses.'

Today, this humble feature attempts to answer one of the great quandaries of modern times. Is it Louie Louie, oh baby, my hair gotta grow? Wrong! What are the lyrics to the Kingsman's Louie Louie?* *Must be gleaned by listening. No peeking on the internet!

Auditioning for Finnegans Wake.

"I believe it translates to... have a nice day."

'I've never seen this symbol before. What could it mean?'

This guy's spelling was terrible --- Everybody knows it's "eye" before "eagle."

Never choose a vacation spot by its posters.

Europe and TTIP

'I absolutely refuse to sign anything which requires a microscope and a stepladder to read it!'

"Sir, any pre-existing illnesses?" "Yes, brain damage from trying to read all the small print."

'And this is the small print in your travel insurance...'

'We're all pretty much in agreement that this is what your doctor scribbled as your prescription.'

Marooned Optometrist

Descartes School of Philosophy.

Two tourists inspecting a French sign

"Mother sends Season's Greetings with her love to you, Lydia. She says how she does so wish to spend the holidays with us but she knows that would mean we would have to drive five hundred and fifty miles to her house, as it is impossible for her to accept

Pharmacist, prescriptions - "It's a forgery, I can read it."

Dept of statistics: 'vital...nonessential'.

'Connect insert A, B, and C into slots D, E, and F. Tighten using assembly tool G. What in the H are they talking about?'

'Apparently some of the additives cause a nerve disorder, but some of the other additives cure it.'

'I love the message, but the art leaves me cold blooded!'

The good news is they'll probably name it after me!

'His paintings always have a message.'

"More misinformation."