Symbol Decipherer Gifts

Infographics: the early years.

This guy's spelling was terrible --- Everybody knows it's "eye" before "eagle."

'I've never seen this symbol before. What could it mean?'

"Have you noticed the "&" symbol looks like a dog dragging his bum across the floor?"

"I believe it translates to... have a nice day."

"What the ∆∂∑† do most of these Ω∞§Ωing buttons do?"

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

'Here you are, Simmons!'

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

'People who can read Venn diagrams...'

IKEA Book

"No Jenkins, that's NOT a sales graph - it's my salary increase."

"And that was just your sudoku chart."

"…And what do you think the cracker might represent?"

"I hope this makes it clearer!"

"Let me guess: Step two, add sand."

'Right there is where he departs from the script.'

'...we were able to hide some rather significant losses.'

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

Trumped by Semniotics

"You may enter, doctor, if you can read this prescription."

'It's this one here, that I don't understand.'

Maze of legalities.

Auditioning for Finnegans Wake.

Never choose a vacation spot by its posters.

'These pamphlets will explain the procedure and these leaflets will explain the pamphlets.'

Marooned Optometrist

Two tourists inspecting a French sign

'While we appreciate your hard work Eddie, I think we are going to have to go a different direction with this position.'

"Welcome to our intern program. I'm your instructor, Dr. David Robertson."

"I can't read this scribble. . . ! Just get the usual random boxes off the top shelf. . ."

Pharmacist, prescriptions - "It's a forgery, I can read it."

Dept of statistics: 'vital...nonessential'.