Numbers Decipherer Gifts

"Ms. Hathaway, contact research and check to see how many zeros are in $18 trillion."

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

'Here you are, Simmons!'

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

"And that was just your sudoku chart."

'...just robbing peter to pay paul...what's up with you?'

"No Jenkins, that's NOT a sales graph - it's my salary increase."

"Let me guess: Step two, add sand."

'Right there is where he departs from the script.'

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

'...we were able to hide some rather significant losses.'

"You may enter, doctor, if you can read this prescription."

Maze of legalities.

'I've never seen this symbol before. What could it mean?'

Never choose a vacation spot by its posters.

"I believe it translates to... have a nice day."

Europe and TTIP

'These pamphlets will explain the procedure and these leaflets will explain the pamphlets.'

Marooned Optometrist

Descartes School of Philosophy.

"Welcome to our intern program. I'm your instructor, Dr. David Robertson."

"I can't read this scribble. . . ! Just get the usual random boxes off the top shelf. . ."

'While we appreciate your hard work Eddie, I think we are going to have to go a different direction with this position.'

Two tourists inspecting a French sign

Dept of statistics: 'vital...nonessential'.

'Connect insert A, B, and C into slots D, E, and F. Tighten using assembly tool G. What in the H are they talking about?'

'Apparently some of the additives cause a nerve disorder, but some of the other additives cure it.'

The good news is they'll probably name it after me!

Cuba Economic Results 2015

But this doesn't really define me