Manual Decipherer Gifts

'We bought this one to help figure out the operating manual for that one over there.'

"Step one: Attach steel beam (A) to polished concrete slab (B)."

Danaelect: 'Things would be a lot easier if everyone had the decency to speak the same language!'

IKEA Book

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

Infographics: the early years.

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

"I can't have anything that's a food."

'It appears to be a kosher for Passover recipe.'

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

'Of course you can't have the chef's salad. What will the chef eat?'

"Let me guess: Step two, add sand."

'Right there is where he departs from the script.'

'...we were able to hide some rather significant losses.'

"You'll be working entirely on commission. We were kidding about the salary."

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

Maze of legalities.

Auditioning for Finnegans Wake.

'This prescription looks as though the doctor wrote it in Greek.'

"I believe it translates to... have a nice day."

'I've never seen this symbol before. What could it mean?'

This guy's spelling was terrible --- Everybody knows it's "eye" before "eagle."

Never choose a vacation spot by its posters.

Europe and TTIP

"That Pink Slime I keep hearing about; is that a hamburger or the dessert?"

A little green pepper means 'vegetarian." A little red heart means "heart healthy." And a little skull and crossbones means "I really shouldn't , but

"It says our homeowners insurance policy is subject to the following forms and endorsements..."

'These pamphlets will explain the procedure and these leaflets will explain the pamphlets.'

"It seems to be a grant application!"

Descartes School of Philosophy.

Two tourists inspecting a French sign