Rule Decipherer Gifts

'...the new investing regulations...'

Maze of legalities.

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

'Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?'

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

'Now hold on, Mike. You're talking about embezzlement! And unless I'm very mistaken, that's strictly prohibited in the company's employee handbook!'

Developing links within business.

'No Farnsworth, I'm not firing you. I'm enhancing your advancement opportunities.'

Customer help - jargon talking i-diot.

IKEA Book

Translating Contractor to English

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

"You call this a brief. It's thirty pages long."

"He was right, you know - a queen can move as many spaces as she likes."

A man is looking at a sign saying Exhibition of art exhibition jargon.

Baseball Rules Conference. The actions of this runner are prohibited by the current rules. Next slide, please.

"The Company has drawn a line under me and moved on."

"Let me guess: Step two, add sand."

'Right there is where he departs from the script.'

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

Legal? Big-shoed clown prepares to kick field goal.

No hitting below the belt!

'...we were able to hide some rather significant losses.'

Auditioning for Finnegans Wake.

'You misunderstand, squire. All I do is guarantee that my cars are USED!'

'Nice try, Mom! They're pinking shears.'

Never choose a vacation spot by its posters.

James Naismith

'We need to ask Blah! The PSB to get the PCT to Blah! Put another GPWSI in the MSK Black! Blah!'

'This prescription looks as though the doctor wrote it in Greek.'

"Senior staff may have to be prepared to be flexible."

'By the time I finish explaining the rules, I've lost 'em.'