Procedure Decipherer Gifts

'These pamphlets will explain the procedure and these leaflets will explain the pamphlets.'

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

'Here you are, Simmons!'

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

DIY horror.

Infographics: the early years.

IKEA Book

"And that was just your sudoku chart."

"No Jenkins, that's NOT a sales graph - it's my salary increase."

'Okay. Now. Insert Part K into slot G...'

"Let me guess: Step two, add sand."

'Right there is where he departs from the script.'

After work, of course, they'd relax and talk deconstruction. Isn't a blueprint just a series of markings with no meaning by themselves? Our job, as I see it, is to find the true essence of the materials.

'It's this one here, that I don't understand.'

Trumped by Semniotics

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

'...we were able to hide some rather significant losses.'

Maze of legalities.

Auditioning for Finnegans Wake.

'This prescription looks as though the doctor wrote it in Greek.'

This guy's spelling was terrible --- Everybody knows it's "eye" before "eagle."

"I believe it translates to... have a nice day."

'I've never seen this symbol before. What could it mean?'

Never choose a vacation spot by its posters.

Europe and TTIP

'Doctor Leaping Leopard's prescriptions are always impossible to read!'

"What you need is a prescription. I'm giving you some...."

Two tourists inspecting a French sign

'While we appreciate your hard work Eddie, I think we are going to have to go a different direction with this position.'

Pharmacist, prescriptions - "It's a forgery, I can read it."

'Connect insert A, B, and C into slots D, E, and F. Tighten using assembly tool G. What in the H are they talking about?'

Dept of statistics: 'vital...nonessential'.

The good news is they'll probably name it after me!