Diagnosis Decipherer Gifts

The good news is they'll probably name it after me!

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

Infographics: the early years.

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

IKEA Book

'...just robbing peter to pay paul...what's up with you?'

'I diagnosed you with THAT? Whoa! You patients really need to be more involved with your healthcare!'

'I'm the doctor - I'll decide what's chronic!'

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

'You're free to get a second opinion, but it looks like something's wrong with that green thingie by your liver.'

M.D. Mrs. Hoskins is here to match wits with you regarding her symptoms.

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

I don't know what it is, but it's a textbook case of something.

"Let me guess: Step two, add sand."

"Interesting diagnosis. Now let's ask Google for a second opinion, shall we?"

'Right there is where he departs from the script.'

"Wow, at last! Somebody who's really ill."

"It seems all doctors agree with you, but I'd still like to get a 15th opinion."

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

'I asked you for one good reason why I should follow your advice, not six.'

'...we were able to hide some rather significant losses.'

Maze of legalities.

"Well, Phil, after years of vague complaints and imaginary ailments, we finally have something to work with."

"I believe it translates to... have a nice day."

Medicine's Myriad Mysteries - "Cold?", "Muscle strain?"...

"Nurse, can you send in the interpreter for Senora Delgado?"

This guy's spelling was terrible --- Everybody knows it's "eye" before "eagle."

'This prescription looks as though the doctor wrote it in Greek.'

'I've never seen this symbol before. What could it mean?'

Never choose a vacation spot by its posters.