Symptom Decipherer Gifts

M.D. Mrs. Hoskins is here to match wits with you regarding her symptoms.

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

Infographics: the early years.

There are dreams...And then there's reality...

I'd like a second opinion on your self-diagnosis - So a random guy from the waiting room is googling your symptoms.

IKEA Book

'There's been a change in my recurring nightmare. I'm no longer falling . . . my credit rating is.'

'Tell me more! That's my favorite symptom!'

I've been having very strange dreams lately, but they're no match for how bizarre waking hours life has seemed.

"I'm here because my vision is getting so bad I can't even see clearly in my dreams at night!"

'I dreamed I was flying and I had airline food.'

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

"There you go kid. If you have a monster he can't get out now."

"Next!"

'Prophetic dream, no chance! You lying on a plate, surrounded by vegetables? That can only be symbolic.'

'Well, I just met the girl of my dreams -- you know, the kind you have when you eat anchovy pizza right before bed.'

Work related problems for Madame Tussaud

Trumped by Semniotics

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

"Something’s wrong. I can tell by the way you’re being nice to me."

'...we were able to hide some rather significant losses.'

Maze of legalities.

"I'd like to extend a special welcome to those of you who are joining us for the first time, as part of a nightmare you're having."

"Your internet researched analysis of your condition and treatment is impressive,and it would be 100% on target...if you were a goat!"

Don't even dream of parking here.

For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

Last chance for dream analysis.

"I'm a doctor, I'm allowed to google it."

"I believe it translates to... have a nice day."

'This prescription looks as though the doctor wrote it in Greek.'

'I've never seen this symbol before. What could it mean?'

This guy's spelling was terrible --- Everybody knows it's "eye" before "eagle."

"I'm feeling great but I'm worried that that might just be a symptom!"