Symptom Decipherer Prints

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

There are dreams...And then there's reality...

'There's been a change in my recurring nightmare. I'm no longer falling . . . my credit rating is.'

'Tell me more! That's my favorite symptom!'

"I'm here because my vision is getting so bad I can't even see clearly in my dreams at night!"

'I dreamed I was flying and I had airline food.'

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

'...we were able to hide some rather significant losses.'

"Next!"

Work related problems for Madame Tussaud

"Something’s wrong. I can tell by the way you’re being nice to me."

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

'Prophetic dream, no chance! You lying on a plate, surrounded by vegetables? That can only be symbolic.'

'Well, I just met the girl of my dreams -- you know, the kind you have when you eat anchovy pizza right before bed.'

"There you go kid. If you have a monster he can't get out now."

Maze of legalities.

"I'd like to extend a special welcome to those of you who are joining us for the first time, as part of a nightmare you're having."

For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"Your internet researched analysis of your condition and treatment is impressive,and it would be 100% on target...if you were a goat!"

"I'm a doctor, I'm allowed to google it."

Last chance for dream analysis.

'I've never seen this symbol before. What could it mean?'

"I'm feeling great but I'm worried that that might just be a symptom!"

'This prescription looks as though the doctor wrote it in Greek.'

Dreams of Grandeur

"I believe it translates to... have a nice day."