Online Symptom Sleuth Gifts

"Your internet researched analysis of your condition and treatment is impressive,and it would be 100% on target...if you were a goat!"

"How's the self-diagnosis coming?"

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

'I checked my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead!'

Don't look know, but I think you're being Googled.

I'd like a second opinion on your self-diagnosis - So a random guy from the waiting room is googling your symptoms.

"I've already go t a diagnosis from homedoc.com..."

'Tell me more! That's my favorite symptom!'

M.D. Mrs. Hoskins is here to match wits with you regarding her symptoms.

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well': I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I've got ALL these life threatening illnesses.

'I see you have some blended content. Some of it's tue, some of it's false.'

'You're fine. Now get out of my office!'

"Next!"

"I'm a doctor, I'm allowed to google it."

"So, when you looked up your symptoms, did it say to complain about it incessantly but never seek treatment?"

"According to this website my symptoms show that I'm dead!"

"I'm feeling great but I'm worried that that might just be a symptom!"

You have a hangover!

"I looked up my symptoms on the internet and I'm worried that I might be dead."

Hypochondriac at two computers. One reads 'Internet diagnosis', other says 'Second opinion'.

'It doesn't matter what pills you give me, whatever they're for, I'm sure to have it...'

"I'm not feeling too great. Maybe I'll ask WebMD what's wrong with me."

'A body temperature of 98.6 normally wouldn't worry me but this is in centigrade!'

"I knew it. I just KNEW it. How long have I had this condition, doctor? Is there a cure? Oh, God, it just had to be disease, didn't it..." Cathy finds out that she has hypochondria.

Health MOTs will attract 'worried well'.

"The doctor says I have something called 'hypochondria'...and it's very hard to cure!"

Christmas Quiz: Is it covid, a hangover, or just life with small children?

'The web is a great educational tool for wine lovers. Right now, Jim is learning how much his brother spent on the bottle he gave for his birthday.'

'I think Duncan's so right for you, now I've done the web check,'