Sick Note Decipherer Gifts

"I can't read this note from your father. Is he a doctor?"

"Feel free to take notes."

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Jason and the Aga notes,

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

Don't forget to read the small print.

Meanwhile at the Cafe de la Mort...

'...just robbing peter to pay paul...what's up with you?'

IKEA Book

'What did I ever see in you?' 'Fortunately I wrote it down. 'Jenny thinks I have a super sense of humour.''

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

M.D. Mrs. Hoskins is here to match wits with you regarding her symptoms.

"We start on #F."

What we especially like about these theoretical types is that they don't tie up thousands of dollars worth of equipment.

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

Today, this humble feature attempts to answer one of the great quandaries of modern times. Is it Louie Louie, oh baby, my hair gotta grow? Wrong! What are the lyrics to the Kingsman's Louie Louie?* *Must be gleaned by listening. No peeking on the internet!

Flautist

"I think I need to go on a diet. I'm tipping the scale."

Maze of legalities.

Auditioning for Finnegans Wake.

Punk Rock

Sight test with a violin.

Clarinet Playing Hunter

'This prescription looks as though the doctor wrote it in Greek.'

'No, no, no...that's far too legible. Shakier. Much shakier!'

"Of course it's hard to understand. They wouldn't be billing 'codes' , if they were easy to decipher."

'I absolutely refuse to sign anything which requires a microscope and a stepladder to read it!'

"Sir, any pre-existing illnesses?" "Yes, brain damage from trying to read all the small print."

'And this is the small print in your travel insurance...'

'You'll turn into a butterfly.'

"What you need is a prescription. I'm giving you some...."

'Doctor Leaping Leopard's prescriptions are always impossible to read!'

"Thanks. I feel much better now."

'Tell you what, I'll tell you what I'm writing if you tell me what you're writing.'

Pharmacist, prescriptions - "It's a forgery, I can read it."