Bill Decipherer Gifts

"That $36 is for the wrong number you dialed. It belongs to a lawyer."

"The phrase 'expect the unexpected' must have originated with someone trying to decipher their cell phone bill."

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

'Here you are, Simmons!'

Don't forget to read the small print.

IKEA Book

"And that was just your sudoku chart."

'...just robbing peter to pay paul...what's up with you?'

"No Jenkins, that's NOT a sales graph - it's my salary increase."

'Okay. Now. Insert Part K into slot G...'

'Right there is where he departs from the script.'

'...we were able to hide some rather significant losses.'

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

"You'll be working entirely on commission. We were kidding about the salary."

After work, of course, they'd relax and talk deconstruction. Isn't a blueprint just a series of markings with no meaning by themselves? Our job, as I see it, is to find the true essence of the materials.

Maze of legalities.

"Well, you helped me with my initial health issue, but now I've got headaches from dealing with billing and insurance!"

Europe and TTIP

Never choose a vacation spot by its posters.

"We raised the price but lowered the down payment... so it kind of evens out."

"Of course it's hard to understand. They wouldn't be billing 'codes' , if they were easy to decipher."

'We've had our new simplified gas bill!'

"Sir, any pre-existing illnesses?" "Yes, brain damage from trying to read all the small print."

'I absolutely refuse to sign anything which requires a microscope and a stepladder to read it!'

'I'm now ready to make my own way in the world. But first, can you guys loan me 200 grand to pay off my student loan?'

'And this is the small print in your travel insurance...'

Descartes School of Philosophy.

Two tourists inspecting a French sign

Dept of statistics: 'vital...nonessential'.

'I got all woozy reading the restrictions in my health insurance contract!'

Cuba Economic Results 2015

'Ophthalmologist'

'I love the message, but the art leaves me cold blooded!'

'Beetles...I heard if you listen to their songs backwards, there are cryptic messages.'