Bill Decipherer Gifts

"That $36 is for the wrong number you dialed. It belongs to a lawyer."

"The phrase 'expect the unexpected' must have originated with someone trying to decipher their cell phone bill."

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

'Here you are, Simmons!'

Don't forget to read the small print.

"And that was just your sudoku chart."

"No Jenkins, that's NOT a sales graph - it's my salary increase."

'...just robbing peter to pay paul...what's up with you?'

'Okay. Now. Insert Part K into slot G...'

'Right there is where he departs from the script.'

'...we were able to hide some rather significant losses.'

"You'll be working entirely on commission. We were kidding about the salary."

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

Maze of legalities.

"Well, you helped me with my initial health issue, but now I've got headaches from dealing with billing and insurance!"

"We raised the price but lowered the down payment... so it kind of evens out."

Europe and TTIP

Never choose a vacation spot by its posters.

"Of course it's hard to understand. They wouldn't be billing 'codes' , if they were easy to decipher."

'I absolutely refuse to sign anything which requires a microscope and a stepladder to read it!'

"Sir, any pre-existing illnesses?" "Yes, brain damage from trying to read all the small print."

'I'm now ready to make my own way in the world. But first, can you guys loan me 200 grand to pay off my student loan?'

'We've had our new simplified gas bill!'

Descartes School of Philosophy.

'And this is the small print in your travel insurance...'

Two tourists inspecting a French sign

Dept of statistics: 'vital...nonessential'.

"More misinformation."

"...here you go!"

Cuba Economic Results 2015

'Ophthalmologist'

'I love the message, but the art leaves me cold blooded!'

'His paintings always have a message.'

'Beetles...I heard if you listen to their songs backwards, there are cryptic messages.'