Doctor's Note Decoder Gifts

'No, no, no...that's far too legible. Shakier. Much shakier!'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

Scary Halloween ICD-10 codes.

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

What the patient heard and what the doctor meant to convey.

NHS/Private Eye Care.

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

Information vs. confusion

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

"Sorry, I can't tell your parents you're allergic to broccoli."

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

'I'll be right with you after I've checked my messages, dear...'

'It's a medical miracle. According to your notes you should have been dead years ago!'

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

Medical Billing & Coding

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

'It's this one here, that I don't understand.'

Toughing it out in the real estate game.

"You got my text... but did you get my subtext?"

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

"Well, you helped me with my initial health issue, but now I've got headaches from dealing with billing and insurance!"

Before graduating, students at Flegburn High were required to read their diplomas out loud.

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

Punk Rock

"It says to sign, and then print my name... can I use the school printer?"

"Hey, got your message. Just wanted to let you know you spelled 'desperately' wrong."

"This is my voice mail."

"Of course it's hard to understand. They wouldn't be billing 'codes' , if they were easy to decipher."

'No, that's not his scary Halloween zombie costume, that's his scary ICD-10 rollout look.'

More holiday ICD-10 codes you may encounter...

'It's from the bloke on the other island. It reads; Help. I'm stranded on a desert island.'