Rule Book Reader Gifts

"He's our most entrenched bureaucrat. Why'd you go and tell him we have unwritten rules?"

"Holding superstar quarterback accountable—token penalty after the kickoff."

Refereeing for Dummies.

'I'm sorry, Mrs. Harris. I can no longer help people across the street cause of something called liability.'

"She's perfect! She even understands the Infield Fly Rule."

"I followed all the right regulations, but not, necessarily, in the right order."

Dog Crossing

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

Dog tries to obey No Dog sign

"Sorry, bud. You know the rules... Dibs is dibs."

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

'That's our corporate ladder.'

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

"Turn off cell phones violators will be over ruled."

'You forgot the product label.'

Office computer: 'Thank you for not using me for personal business.'

'Here are the safety manuals you wanted'

'Now hold on, Mike. You're talking about embezzlement! And unless I'm very mistaken, that's strictly prohibited in the company's employee handbook!'

"Until you're top management, Warrick, I strongly suggest you stay within the lines."

"The deadline for compliance just kicked in."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN, 'It's okay, I guess, but they sure hassle you about compliance!'

'It's from the Federal Trade Commission -- we have to put in a non-smoking section.'

'That's not what is meant by a free kick.'

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

She didn't know when her baby climbed onto the prize pile, but she could never turn her back on the international Carny code of law.

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

'There's nothing in the rules about gloves.'

"He was right, you know - a queen can move as many spaces as she likes."

Business man must jump through hoops to impress his boss.

'They're doing their tests now?

"Poppa, can you read me the Riot Act again?"

'...so until you get your own place - you live by our rules!'

'There really is no need for confusion. Rule 10, section 5, article a, subsection 3, exception 4 quite clearly states ... '

"Oh-now I see where we part company. You are cleaving unto the spirit of the law, while I am cleaving to the letter of the law!"