Manual Decipherer T-Shirts

'We bought this one to help figure out the operating manual for that one over there.'

"Step one: Attach steel beam (A) to polished concrete slab (B)."

Danaelect: 'Things would be a lot easier if everyone had the decency to speak the same language!'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

"I can't have anything that's a food."

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

'It appears to be a kosher for Passover recipe.'

'Of course you can't have the chef's salad. What will the chef eat?'

"Let me guess: Step two, add sand."

'Right there is where he departs from the script.'

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

'...we were able to hide some rather significant losses.'

"You'll be working entirely on commission. We were kidding about the salary."

Maze of legalities.

Auditioning for Finnegans Wake.

'I've never seen this symbol before. What could it mean?'

Europe and TTIP

'This prescription looks as though the doctor wrote it in Greek.'

"That Pink Slime I keep hearing about; is that a hamburger or the dessert?"

"I believe it translates to... have a nice day."

Never choose a vacation spot by its posters.

"It says our homeowners insurance policy is subject to the following forms and endorsements..."

'These pamphlets will explain the procedure and these leaflets will explain the pamphlets.'

"It seems to be a grant application!"

Descartes School of Philosophy.

Two tourists inspecting a French sign

'What do you say we throw caution to the wind and order something we can't pronounce?'

"What you need is a prescription. I'm giving you some...."

Pharmacist, prescriptions - "It's a forgery, I can read it."