Symbol Decoder Gifts

'It's this one here, that I don't understand.'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

Barks in code.

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

DIY horror.

Infographics: the early years.

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

'Physical or Social Science?'

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

'People who can read Venn diagrams...'

Information vs. confusion

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

"The are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't."

"…And what do you think the cracker might represent?"

"I hope this makes it clearer!"

'I'll be right with you after I've checked my messages, dear...'

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

"Let me guess: Step two, add sand."

"People are always whining about food labelling, but there's NOTHING that ANYONE with a reasonable chemistry degree and maybe a PhD in pharmacology wouldn't with a little effort, be able to understand....At least a little."

Trumped by Semniotics

'On the paupiettes de boeuf a la hongroise, which part is the hongroise?'

"Leave the lights burning when you go home. Pass it on."

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

"You got my text... but did you get my subtext?"

'Is this a Greek restaurant?'

"Hey, got your message. Just wanted to let you know you spelled 'desperately' wrong."