Secret Signal Decoder Gifts

"Leave the lights burning when you go home. Pass it on."

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

Barks in code.

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

What Guys Say and What They Mean,

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

Paw readings

Infographics: the early years.

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

'Is it one moo for yes two moos for no?'

Information vs. confusion

'Sheisse ... What ein dream!' - Freud

IKEA Book

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

"I dreamed last night that I was furious at you for charging me for missing last week's session. What do you think it means?"

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

'I'll be right with you after I've checked my messages, dear...'

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

'It's this one here, that I don't understand.'

'...we were able to hide some rather significant losses.'

Siggy

"I had the strangest dream. I was suddenly in a room full of people, and I didn't have a stitch on."

"You got my text... but did you get my subtext?"

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

"Hey, got your message. Just wanted to let you know you spelled 'desperately' wrong."

"This is my voice mail."

Never choose a vacation spot by its posters.

"I just had a communications nightmare! I dreamt that the postal workers were on strike, the internet was down and someone had eaten the carrier pigeons!"

This guy's spelling was terrible --- Everybody knows it's "eye" before "eagle."

'I've never seen this symbol before. What could it mean?'

Russian Missiles Incognito

"I believe it translates to... have a nice day."