Diagram Decoder Gifts

'People who can read Venn diagrams...'

"I hope this makes it clearer!"

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

'This graph may need some explaining...'

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

'Here you are, Simmons!'

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

Paw readings

Infographics: the early years.

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

Information vs. confusion

'Sheisse ... What ein dream!' - Freud

'I know what you're thinking.'

"And that was just your sudoku chart."

"I dreamed last night that I was furious at you for charging me for missing last week's session. What do you think it means?"

"No Jenkins, that's NOT a sales graph - it's my salary increase."

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

"We're going to play the boss's favorite game - 'pin the blame on the scapegoat.'"

"I thought an illogical framework would work better."

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

'Okay. Now. Insert Part K into slot G...'

Why The Ball Is Jumping Out

'Roughly translated it says 'Can't remember the code to get into your pyramid? Call Pharaoh Locksmithing.'

'It says I can't access Pharaoh's tablet unless I'm on his buddies list.'

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

'It says he put the 'Ram' in the 'Rama Lama Ding Dong'.'

Flowcharts.

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

Trumped by Semniotics

"I had the strangest dream. I was suddenly in a room full of people, and I didn't have a stitch on."

Siggy