Chart Decoders Gifts

"We're going to play the boss's favorite game - 'pin the blame on the scapegoat.'"

'This graph may need some explaining...'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"It's his ego growth chart."

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

'Here you are, Simmons!'

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

Financial chart with frowny and smiley faces.

"We're estimating that sales are now up to about here."

'People who can read Venn diagrams...'

Information vs. confusion

Sales down - Blood pressure up.

Wishful Thinking Magazine - circulation chart.

Pie chart of pub conversations

"The bottom line is that we're going out on our bottoms!"

"No Jenkins, that's NOT a sales graph - it's my salary increase."

"And that was just your sudoku chart."

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

"I have some character-building news for you."

"Buy insulation. . . sell futures."

"No, I'm afraid Pluto is never in the dog house."

"I hope this makes it clearer!"

'I'd like to see us start making a little more of this money, up here.'

"Civic responsibility, ethics, and a dedication to the people we serve; they're killing our business."