Chart Decoding Enthusiast Gifts

"I have no idea what they do, but whatever it is, they're doing less of it."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

Business is off the chart.

'Sorry, everyone. That last chart kind of startled me.'

Soaring Profits

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

Expenses/Income. "Our only problem is working out how to switch these."

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

Gloat

'This chart shows how much time we waste every day looking at charts.'

Out.

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

'This graph may need some explaining...'

We Have A Lot To Cover.....

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

A guide to seasons in the North East

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

'Here you are, Simmons!'