Chart Reader Extraordinaire Gifts

"Just give me the exact date you enlisted, and I can do your naval chart."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

'Sorry, everyone. That last chart kind of startled me.'

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

Business is off the chart.

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

Soaring Profits

Expenses/Income. "Our only problem is working out how to switch these."

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

Gloat

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

A guide to seasons in the North East

We Have A Lot To Cover.....

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

'This chart shows how much time we waste every day looking at charts.'

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

Out.

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

'Here you are, Simmons!'