Chart Decoder Gifts

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

NHS/Private Eye Care.

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"It's his ego growth chart."

'This graph may need some explaining...'

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

'Here you are, Simmons!'

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

"We're estimating that sales are now up to about here."

Financial chart with frowny and smiley faces.

'People who can read Venn diagrams...'

Information vs. confusion

Sales down - Blood pressure up.

Wishful Thinking Magazine - circulation chart.

Pie chart of pub conversations

"And that was just your sudoku chart."

"No Jenkins, that's NOT a sales graph - it's my salary increase."

"We're going to play the boss's favorite game - 'pin the blame on the scapegoat.'"

"The bottom line is that we're going out on our bottoms!"

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

"I hope this makes it clearer!"

"No, I'm afraid Pluto is never in the dog house."

"Buy insulation. . . sell futures."

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

'I'd like to see us start making a little more of this money, up here.'

Bicycle Pie Chart

"I need the saw again."