Chart Decoder Gifts

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

NHS/Private Eye Care.

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"It's his ego growth chart."

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

'This graph may need some explaining...'

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

'Here you are, Simmons!'

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

Financial chart with frowny and smiley faces.

"We're estimating that sales are now up to about here."

'People who can read Venn diagrams...'

Information vs. confusion

Sales down - Blood pressure up.

Wishful Thinking Magazine - circulation chart.

Pie chart of pub conversations

"We're going to play the boss's favorite game - 'pin the blame on the scapegoat.'"

"The bottom line is that we're going out on our bottoms!"

"And that was just your sudoku chart."

"No Jenkins, that's NOT a sales graph - it's my salary increase."

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

"I hope this makes it clearer!"

"Buy insulation. . . sell futures."

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

"No, I'm afraid Pluto is never in the dog house."

'I'd like to see us start making a little more of this money, up here.'

"Civic responsibility, ethics, and a dedication to the people we serve; they're killing our business."