Equation Decoder Gifts

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

What Guys Say and What They Mean,

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

Complexity Made Simple.

DIY horror.

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

'I sense this may not be a one-way journey.'

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

Information vs. confusion

"The deadline for compliance just kicked in."

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

'He's one of those genetically-altered antibodies.'

"Yes, human DNA is very close to ours, but obviously, they're missing the nucleotide necessary for caring for the environment. . ."

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

"The are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't."

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

'I'll be right with you after I've checked my messages, dear...'

DNA explained.

Gin-etic Engineering

'It's this one here, that I don't understand.'

"I sure do have a family. There's my wife's DNA and my kid's DNA."

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

"You got my text... but did you get my subtext?"

'You needn't worry about confidentiality. Your medical records were carefully transferred to computer and accidently trashed.'

"Hey, got your message. Just wanted to let you know you spelled 'desperately' wrong."

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

"It says to sign, and then print my name... can I use the school printer?"

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

'Our techies assure us no one stole the data. There were no hackers involved. We just lost it, all by ourselves.'

"This is my voice mail."

'I'm now ready to make my own way in the world. But first, can you guys loan me 200 grand to pay off my student loan?'

Change Rooms.