Dialogue Decoder Gifts

"I would be bilingual if you were bilingual!"

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

Information vs. confusion

"The deadline for compliance just kicked in."

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

"Since you're always asking, here's a list of my various kinds of sighs, with explanation of what each one means."

The Tangents talk it over.

"I have some character-building news for you."

'I'll be right with you after I've checked my messages, dear...'

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

'It's my job to be nosy!'

English Pointers giving pointers.

'Right there is where he departs from the script.'

"The nomenclature of 'political correctness' is devisive and opens the profession to ridicule!"

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

"Richard has quite an ear for dialogue."

'Darling - have I ever told you how much you love me. . .?'

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

"You got my text... but did you get my subtext?"

"People...do you FINALLY understand the concept of 'Visual Narrative?'"

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

Before graduating, students at Flegburn High were required to read their diplomas out loud.

"Hey, got your message. Just wanted to let you know you spelled 'desperately' wrong."

"This is my voice mail."

Never choose a vacation spot by its posters.

"Welcome to tonight's panel on interfaith humour."

Chat Bot

Contest time. Mort and Sadie, our ornery octogenarians, have decided to rename Rudy's generation. Mort favors Generation I - for impatient. Sadie prefers Generation V - for virtual. Or vapid! What do you think? Please send your own ideas to asksadieshow@gmail.com. C'mon people, get thinkin'!