Dialogue Decoder Pillows

"I would be bilingual if you were bilingual!"

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

Information vs. confusion

"The deadline for compliance just kicked in."

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

"Since you're always asking, here's a list of my various kinds of sighs, with explanation of what each one means."

The Tangents talk it over.

"I have some character-building news for you."

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

'It's my job to be nosy!'

'I'll be right with you after I've checked my messages, dear...'

English Pointers giving pointers.

'Right there is where he departs from the script.'

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

'Darling - have I ever told you how much you love me. . .?'

"Richard has quite an ear for dialogue."

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

"The nomenclature of 'political correctness' is devisive and opens the profession to ridicule!"

"You got my text... but did you get my subtext?"

"People...do you FINALLY understand the concept of 'Visual Narrative?'"

"Hey, got your message. Just wanted to let you know you spelled 'desperately' wrong."

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

"Welcome to tonight's panel on interfaith humour."

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

Chat Bot

Never choose a vacation spot by its posters.

"This is my voice mail."