Decoding Gifts

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

Barks in code.

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

What Guys Say and What They Mean,

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

Complexity Made Simple.

DIY horror.

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

Information vs. confusion

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

'Yes, it is a carrot. You haven't been getting enough fibre.'

"The are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't."

Mixed marriage: food fight

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

'I'll be right with you after I've checked my messages, dear...'

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

'It's this one here, that I don't understand.'

"You got my text... but did you get my subtext?"

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

"Hey, got your message. Just wanted to let you know you spelled 'desperately' wrong."

"It says to sign, and then print my name... can I use the school printer?"

"This is my voice mail."

Marooned Optometrist

Change Rooms.

'It's from the bloke on the other island. It reads; Help. I'm stranded on a desert island.'

Text/Subtext Message

"See? Incomprehensible scribble! This confirms our research findings that these animals have absolutely no understanding of our language."

'Sorry, no carbs.'

"If we could decipher their language we'd have a clue to their intelligence levels."

'have you ever taken a good look at your paycheck stub? There's one area for what we get and ten different areas for what somebody else gets.'

'It's a good tax document conceptually, but your jargon's weak.'