Message Decoders Gifts

"What is it, boy? What are you trying to tell me?"

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

Barks in code.

What Guys Say and What They Mean,

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

DIY horror.

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

Information vs. confusion

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

"The are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't."

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

'I'll be right with you after I've checked my messages, dear...'

A Welcome mat words mixed up at the Dyslexic Clinic

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

"You got my text... but did you get my subtext?"

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

"Hey, got your message. Just wanted to let you know you spelled 'desperately' wrong."

"This is my voice mail."

Russian Missiles Incognito

Never choose a vacation spot by its posters.

Marooned Optometrist

Change Rooms.

"This way, the humans get the message."

"I would be bilingual if you were bilingual!"

'It's from the bloke on the other island. It reads; Help. I'm stranded on a desert island.'

Text/Subtext Message

Man reads subliminal message during eye test.

"If we could decipher their language we'd have a clue to their intelligence levels."

'have you ever taken a good look at your paycheck stub? There's one area for what we get and ten different areas for what somebody else gets.'

"Then the hard drive says to the floppy, 110010001110011..."

'His paintings always have a message.'

'Beetles...I heard if you listen to their songs backwards, there are cryptic messages.'