Letter Reader Gifts

Reading between the Lines.

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

'No swimming. No breathing.'

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

No Immediate Danger

Sign in Lion Enclosure: 'Please Don't Eat the People.'

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

Yes, That Was The Exit

Santa called but you were out!

"So, what are you reading?"

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

'It's almost as if they knew!'

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

"...L...uh, M...uh Q...how come there are so many darn letters in the alphabet anyway?"

Maternity ward.

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

Don't tell me fibs! I know ou wrote to the Corinthians, and ya wrote to the Romans, bnot to mention to Galatians, but do you write to your mother?

Reading: Phonics. Using phonics, you learn to read by the sounds of letters. Any questions? Yes. Why does "phonics" begin with "p-h" and not with "f"?

"How many letters can you read?"

Stadium. No fans allowed. In baseball, "shutout" now has two meanings.

"I won the spelling bee because Eddie Scott invented three letters."

Writer breaks in new electric typewriter.

Man sees half-eaten 'Do Not Feed the Bears' sign

I ONIC. F. E. That group will be very different depending upon whether a "C" or "R" joins them in that second spot.

Postman walking away from mailbox after putting mail in. Sounds of it eating can be heard.

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

Literary rain

'Sorry.. I don't date lower-case types.'

"Damn. Totally mis-read that."

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N. The alphabet invention is great. We should copyright it!