Receipt Reader Gifts

'Blimey, you must have charged for the trolley as well!'

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

'No swimming. No breathing.'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

No Immediate Danger

Sign in Lion Enclosure: 'Please Don't Eat the People.'

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

Yes, That Was The Exit

'It's almost as if they knew!'

"So, what are you reading?"

'I'm not working on a case, I'm looking for something interesting to read in the john.'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

Man sees half-eaten 'Do Not Feed the Bears' sign

'I'm terribly sorry. I thought it said 'gods'.'

Sea Rise Beach: Enter At Own Risk.

"Do you have anything with FOOD in it?"

The UN Forest. . . after its latest 3000 page climate report is released.

What the sign said: 60 max. What you saw: Go man!

"Since time is an issue, I didn't have time to organize my receipts."

"By the time I've read all the nutrition and ingredients information I've lost my appetite!"

'Obviously, the school board is giving an unfair advantage to gifted students.'

'Miss Harrison said it's a better report than the ones you used to get when you were in her class.'

"You taught him to bring the paper?" "Just the comics."

A man on a beach looks at a sign in front of the water that reads "No swimming beyond this point".

'Why are you being a discipline problem at school, turd?'

'Instead of a bedtime story, I'm going to read you my company's report for the third quarter.'