Paper Reader Gifts

"You taught him to bring the paper?" "Just the comics."

"He doesn't have a 'life coach' mother, he has a 'life couch'.

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Punctuation Police

Someone who knows apostrophes

Gen-Next Library

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

'Bring out yer books!'

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

Asking out a palm reader.

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

Reading the sports pages.

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

"The car is in the garage, but I had to drive over the lawnmower."

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

Quality Control

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."

'Don't laugh Ms. Newborn, but I want you to proof this for 'accuracy'.'

Rhinoceros Is Most Intelligent Ungulate

"Well, I think we come back as newspapers." "You're nuts."

Large print e-book.

"Confounded spell checker... never catches anything."

Ironing Punctuation

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

'Don't worry. I'm not charging you for the extra lettering.'

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

'Ever since I started reading the newswpaper online, he's been bringing my computer to me.'