Lip-reader Gifts

"He's been like that, ever since he learned to lip-read."

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

Gen-Next Library

Asking out a palm reader.

'Bring out yer books!'

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

Large print e-book.

'Ever since I started reading the newswpaper online, he's been bringing my computer to me.'

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

Paw readings

Maternity ward.

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

'Could you just e-mail me your electronic book with signature, please?'

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

"So you can tweet. That's why you have to learn the alphabet."

Welcome back students.

Man sees 'Palm Readings and Stock Projections' business window

"This is all I have time for now, dear...the knight slays the dragon and marries the princess. For more detail go to www.fairytale.net."

'An ebook! What are you reading?' 'Against technology: From the Luddites to neo-Luddism.'

"I see you naked. A beautiful young woman is leaning over you... Oh, hang on. She's performing your autopsy."

"Ever since I started reading the newspaper online, he's been bringing me my laptop."

"I see you coming into money, at least 50p for a cup of tea."

Manual Labor.

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

'Books are okay, except they only get one channel.'

"Your food line is nice and long, and - oh, my - your squirrel line is all over the place."

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

Kid tries to plug in a book.

Closed for the Foreseeable Future

'Here's a deal! Buy 6 ebooks and they send you a candle that smells like a book.'

"Oh dear, my dear. I'm afraid the tall dark stranger works at a nonprofit."