Lip Reading Gifts

2020 was a rough year for lip readers. (sad man wearing a mask, not able to read lips)

Having learned to read lips, Howard was able to avoid the expense of an HDTV and cable.

'Oh, he hates the itching and scratching, but he's terrified of lip readers.'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"Barb's such a fast reader."

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

Ill next Thursday

Man sees 'Palm Readings and Stock Projections' business window

'Well done Hopkins - I hear you cleared your in tray for the first time in twenty years.'

"Out today due to foreseen circumstances."

Fortune teller describes to angler the size of the fish he's going to catch.

Your Palm

"Why do you wear green lipstick?"

'I see you're not wearing clean underpants.'

"You forgot this! You never go anywhere without wearing lipstick."

Palm Reader...

'That line means good managerial skills!'

'Sorry Ma'am, but I only do palm-readings...'

Rapid reading center.

'The mist is clearing.'

Psychic: Palm reading, tarot, and lost and found.

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

"I love the smell of lip balm in the morning."

Eye contact zone next 50 feet.

A man and a woman at a house party

Baseball is much more interesting now that I've learned to lip-read!

"The secret to speed reading is skipping every other page."

Madame Babushka: Palm reading, seances, portfolio management.

"I see you've never dated a clairvoyant before."

'I removed the sugar, artificial flavors, coloring, preservatives, and additives. Now the eight ounce box weighs four ounces.'

Are we what we eat and what do we actually eat?

Don't be alarmed. I'm not falling for it, loser. You can't make Sadie Cohen worry about nothing just by uttering three dumb words. It's probably nothing. Those three won't work either! Nobody panic. Two words won't work either! Munch mun -

'Do you want tea leaves or the cards?' - 'You mean you don't know.'