Palm Readings Gifts

Ill next Thursday

"Why bother?"

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

Asking out a palm reader.

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"You're solemates!"

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

Pie Filling Reader

Using psychic powers, the final exam had been a breeze. However, Madame Evetta did not realize that the student in front of her from who she had obtained the majority of her answers, was Bugs Higgins.

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

Paw readings

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

"It will be all your fault."

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

"To listen to your instincts, press one."

Man sees 'Palm Readings and Stock Projections' business window

"Gas, is it the future?"

Amateur Palmist

"I see you naked. A beautiful young woman is leaning over you... Oh, hang on. She's performing your autopsy."

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

"Your food line is nice and long, and - oh, my - your squirrel line is all over the place."

"I'm afraid your wife gets to say 'I told you so.'"

"I see you coming into money, at least 50p for a cup of tea."

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

"Out today due to foreseen circumstances."

Closed for the Foreseeable Future

Big Medium