Palm Readers Gifts

'I met my husband at one of these conventions. You could say it was love at second sight.'

"Why don't you see a good dermatologist?"

Gen-Next Library

'Bring out yer books!'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Asking out a palm reader.

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

Large print e-book.

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

'Ever since I started reading the newswpaper online, he's been bringing my computer to me.'

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

Paw readings

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

'Bront?saurus.'

Print Suicide

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

'Could you just e-mail me your electronic book with signature, please?'

Ill next Thursday

Jane Austen

Man sees 'Palm Readings and Stock Projections' business window

Welcome back students.

"This is all I have time for now, dear...the knight slays the dragon and marries the princess. For more detail go to www.fairytale.net."

'An ebook! What are you reading?' 'Against technology: From the Luddites to neo-Luddism.'

"Ever since I started reading the newspaper online, he's been bringing me my laptop."

"I see you naked. A beautiful young woman is leaning over you... Oh, hang on. She's performing your autopsy."

"You'd like a book by Shakespeare? Certainly sir - which one. . .?"

"I see you coming into money, at least 50p for a cup of tea."

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

'What are you staring at? . . . Please save me from the English majors.'

'You said you wanted to start reading the newspaper online.'

"Your food line is nice and long, and - oh, my - your squirrel line is all over the place."

Books*. *Batteries not included.

Palm Pilot. I can't wait until we get to Hawaii --- I've got lots of family there! Tropical Air.