Palm Reader Gifts

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

'And what makes you think you'll be good at planning ahead?'

Man sees 'Palm Readings and Stock Projections' business window

Closed for the Foreseeable Future

"Don't be so chintzy with the life line!"

"You like to drink toilet water, roll in poop, and sniff butts..."

Man see's 'Distribution' in his crystal ball

'Will I run for President, you ask? H-m-m-m...let's see what the ol' 'Palm' reading predicts!'

Madame Lucille Fortune Teller. "I predict the future."

Palm reader reading a palm tree.

"I see you naked. A beautiful young woman is leaning over you... Oh, hang on. She's performing your autopsy."

'Worn out palms. . .you are a total w****r for the rest of your life.'

"... And I think you should apologise to that palm reader for scoffing at her predictions."

"I can't read anything right now. We have to wait a bit: Your palm is all wrinkled..."

'Madam Zelda sees all'

Fortune teller sits beneath a sign 'Wrinkles Read Here'

"..You're going to be rich and successful, but then on the other hand.."

Palm Reader reading 'Laura' heart tattoo on palm 'You're in love with a girl named Laura!'

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

'I see a tall, dark stranger who will completely ignore you but sleep with your best friend'

'Sorry Ma'am, but I only do palm-readings...'

'You have a very long lifeline.'

'You're in love with a girl named Laura!'

'I don't know why you mind me reading in bed so much Frank?'

"I'm just substituting. I can only read fingers."

"How's my life line doing?"

"Why don't you see a good dermatologist?"

"You have a very long fault line. That's why your hands are trembling."

'Want me to share your reading on your social media?'

"I see love, adventure and happiness coming into my life!"

The Future of Palmistry

"Oh dear, my dear. I'm afraid the tall dark stranger works at a nonprofit."

Paw readings

"This is very strange! I can't see a life line on your hand. There's only a little itty bitty dot!"

Dyslexic Palm Reading