Palm Enthusiast Gifts

'I want you to read my palm.'

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

'See you in two weeks!'

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

"Is it just me, right, is it just me ...?"

'You've got dry scalp.'

'I forgot to cancel the milk!'

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

"This one has nicer sand, but I think I prefer the tree on the last one we saw."

"Gas, is it the future?"

Amateur Palmist

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

Thank You For Not Asking If I's enjoying My First Vacation in 20 Years.

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

"I spy something blue."

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

"Sorry Mom, but I really need to take this call."

'We're dangerous when we shop. We're really really dangerous when we don't shop.'

'Stranger?.. No, it's definitely a tall, dark strangler.'

'Now let's call and see what time it is in CHINA!'

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'

'That line means good managerial skills!'

"Fire department? Yes, this is a cat and, well, big surprise here, I'm stuck in a tree... But here's the odd part—I am staring at no less than five other cats, all stuck in this same tree. So weird, huh?"

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

Palm Reading

'I think I see why you're progressing slowly in music.'

"You like people and people respond to that."

"Avoid financial ventures—your credit line is very short."

Mall: "We always hold hands - If I let go, she shops."

'I must warn you, I'm an army boxer.'

'Your operation is delayed for a couple of hours... there's a big sale at the mall down the street and all the nurses are down there.'