Lip Reader Enthusiast Gifts

In order to further bond with you, Julius, I learned how to read lips by watching an instructional video on Youtube. Now that I know what you're saying, my heartfelt response is, Same to you, buddy!

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

'It was a real scroller. I couldn't put down my screen.'

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

Megabyte Information Processing Center.

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

'You're charged with 10 counts of cyber crime. We're going to throw the kindle at you. . .'

'You were a book all along.'

Modern Studying

"Mom, I can't get this book to turn on."

I just bought a new Kindle Voyage. It's much better than my Kindle Paperwhite. Blasphemy, little buddy. A real man lugs around a paperback that he's milled from a fallen Redwood that he lifted off of a baby deer, before reuniting the fawn with its mother. I bought if off of Amazon. I didn't even use "one-click." I used the shopping cart and chose all the options manually. Almost as impressive. I keep it old-school.

"You like people and people respond to that."

'He's in the library.'

"I've created a supplement to the Nook. I call it the Cranny."

"A book is kind of like a paper Kindle."

"I love the smell of lip balm in the morning."

Baseball is much more interesting now that I've learned to lip-read!

'I'm with the Campus Police, ma'am... we had a tip than someone in this dorm may be reading for pleasure.'

"I pushed the learn button on the remote and that book popped up on the screen!"

'I met my husband at one of these conventions. You could say it was love at second sight.'

"The 10-week course costs $600 and takes an hour and a half to complete."

'Go girl!'

"It's called a 'bookmark.' It's like a 'save progress' option."

"No, your book didn't 'lock up' on you. You actually have to turn the page."

I've read fifteen books in the last three months, Randy. What? You? Read? Books were invented 5 thousand years ago, little buddy

'Oh, he hates the itching and scratching, but he's terrified of lip readers.'

Library Returns

2020 was a rough year for lip readers. (sad man wearing a mask, not able to read lips)

The Crushing of Independent Bookstores.

'Because you move your lips, when you read, I think I have some idea of what you're going to have.'

"You realize if you learn that, your browsing days in here are over."

"It's like reading a regular book, but you know it's reading you back."

Books. As seen online!