Ancient Text Decoder Gifts

"This is amazing! Roughly translated, it says 'King Tut was here o.k.'"

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

Man embarrassed by a schoolboy's superior knowledge of Greek

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

IMHOtep

'It appears to be a kosher for Passover recipe.'

"The deadline for compliance just kicked in."

'I know what you're thinking.'

Books of Tablets

"What part of oil lamp next to double squiggle over ox don't you understand?"

'It says he put the 'Ram' in the 'Rama Lama Ding Dong'.'

"He never lets you forget that he had a cameo in the Old Testament."

'It says I can't access Pharaoh's tablet unless I'm on his buddies list.'

'Roughly translated it says 'Can't remember the code to get into your pyramid? Call Pharaoh Locksmithing.'

"You're positive we don't need these notarized?"

Dr. Harper had a special eye exam chart made for hieroglyphics professor patient.

Bertram de Born (The Divine Comedy).

Ancient Egyptian Curser

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

Auditioning for Finnegans Wake.

"It says to sign, and then print my name... can I use the school printer?"

An archaeologist sees an ancient Egyptian entrance to a subway.

"A pharaoh who lived by the Nile...And was eaten by an old crocodile."

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

"It seems to be a grant application!"

'We're all pretty much in agreement that this is what your doctor scribbled as your prescription.'

Marooned Optometrist

'And don´t return until you find the shameless who took the tablet with the seventh commandment'

Pharmacist, prescriptions - "It's a forgery, I can read it."

"If we could decipher their language we'd have a clue to their intelligence levels."

"I'd like to be straightforward about all this, but, of course, that's out of the question."

'It's a good tax document conceptually, but your jargon's weak.'

Dog Typos.