Letter Decoder Pillows

Marooned Optometrist

Barks in code.

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

'Physical or Social Science?'

'I sense this may not be a one-way journey.'

Information vs. confusion

"This is amazing! Roughly translated, it says 'King Tut was here o.k.'"

'He's one of those genetically-altered antibodies.'

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

"Yes, human DNA is very close to ours, but obviously, they're missing the nucleotide necessary for caring for the environment. . ."

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

'Yes, it is a carrot. You haven't been getting enough fibre.'

"The are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't."

'I'll be right with you after I've checked my messages, dear...'

"People are always whining about food labelling, but there's NOTHING that ANYONE with a reasonable chemistry degree and maybe a PhD in pharmacology wouldn't with a little effort, be able to understand....At least a little."

'It's this one here, that I don't understand.'

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

"I sure do have a family. There's my wife's DNA and my kid's DNA."

'On the paupiettes de boeuf a la hongroise, which part is the hongroise?'

Office of Lyrics You Can't Understand

'...we were able to hide some rather significant losses.'

Gin-etic Engineering

"You got my text... but did you get my subtext?"

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

"Hey, got your message. Just wanted to let you know you spelled 'desperately' wrong."

'Is this a Greek restaurant?'

"I believe it translates to... have a nice day."