Menopausal Warrior Gifts

The Three Wise Queens

Woman's Support Group: No Bra, No Griddle, No Service.

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

"First break since 2008."

"Congrats! It's a health future unequally paid sexual harassment victim!"

"It's time we discuss menopause and climax change."

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"That's for staying married for thirty-five years to a difficult woman."

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

Manspreading in Art

'Not to worry. Water retention is a common symptom of menopause.'

Middle age anxiety about leaving the house.

"You're a very intelligent little woman my dear."

Male & Female separate company buildings

'Well, no wonder I feel blocked.'

"Now that we're married you'll be cooking and cleaning and ironing and guess who'll be dressing me and combing my hair?" "The mortician."

'This isn't any comparison to my going through menopause!'

"I'm trying to determine if the aches and pains are from an injury or just my new normal."

Old age is crueller than you think kid!"

Psychotic mood swing.

"I'd better go -- I think my wife's menopause has arrived."

Fables for the Middle-Aged: Goldilocks and the 3 Hairs.

Not very ladylike. Please help.

"Nothing personal - I'm through with the male brain."

'Night sweats, what night sweats?'

'I've reached that age where I've given up on Mind Over Matter and am concentrating on Mind Over Bladder.'

"...But guess what Kevin's mother is doing for a living?"

"I'm old. What's good for that?"

Hot flush!

'Thank you My next song is about female survival in a male dominated society on 300 after tax,'