Menopause Survivor Gifts

'Not to worry. Water retention is a common symptom of menopause.'

'It's a bad combination, global warming and hot flashes.'

"...until death do you a favor."

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

'Let me get this straight- you went to a GUY-ne-cologist, to discuss MEN-o-pause?'

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

"It's time we discuss menopause and climax change."

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

Groups of menopausal women in clinic.

Flash Cuisine

'No Dear, the Tooth Fairy is long gone. I'm the Hot-Flash Fairy.'

The post-menopause luncheon's unintentional comedy act.

Clair regretted having her husband sit in while her doctor described possible side effects of menopause.

Generation Ex.

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

Middle age anxiety about leaving the house.

"Being married to her was the most miserable experience of my life, but I was able to develop a sitcom out of it."

'It's my biological clock.'

Your Dinner Is In The Trout Stream

'Life was moving along at a nice, steady pace, then I hit middle age and my life hot-flashed before my eyes!'

Many women report sleep disturbances associated with the post-menopausal period.

"We can go with the hormone-replacement therapy or skip straight to the husband replacement."

Flo's kids had a harder time adjusting to their mother's hot flashes than she did.

'This isn't any comparison to my going through menopause!'

Fables for the Middle-Aged: Goldilocks and the 3 Hairs.